~ Deirdre, The Long Journey Into Legend ~

by

Katherine McGibbons

One

Journal Entry

Deirdre McColum

The Arrival

A confusion of images assaulted my eyes, or rather my senses, being my eyes were rather firmly shut at that moment. Although I did not see these images through my eyes, they were clearly there and as real to me as anything I had ever seen through open eyes. Real, and yet not real, I seemed to pass right through them, or they through me. I could not quite make out exactly what it was I was seeing, touching, feeling. One thing was clear; the feelings, the emotions, which flooded my mind along with those visions; violence, anger, terror, surrounded and assaulted me. Blood red gore, bodies maimed through violence. Phantom figures hacked and slashed at other figures just as unreal. Ephemeral images of marauding hordes wreaked havoc upon each other.

And the sounds... sounds assaulted my senses as well. The sounds these scenes brought with them raged around me, touching me, invading me. They pounded through my veins, resounding in my ears, as though the sounds had become... had been made solid, physically real. I felt the screams of anguish. Blood chilling cries of terror ran icy fingers along my spine; demonic, ululant wails twisted my heart and squeezed the breath from my body, and like an insidious voice within my head, urged to more violence.

Light and sound whirled around me, pushing, pulling at me. A kaleidoscope of fractured images, breaking apart, swirling within its own specific pattern of chaos, only to come together again to form other, yet more bizarre images.

Panic began to rise in my breast, I could not breathe; perhaps I would suffocate. The air was surely being squeezed from my lungs and I would arrive at my final destination a lifeless husk.

My sense of time had long ago left me. How long had I been trapped here in this demonic space? Would I be trapped forever here in this place somewhere between what was and what will be, forever a victim to the furious, yet transient images, which inhabited this forbidden space? Surely, the mind, the body, could not withstand this onslaught for long. Would I be lost, fly apart and scatter throughout the universe?

Just as I thought I would succumb to the hysteria that blinded my mind and dragged at my sanity, I felt the earth, firm and solid beneath my feet. I wanted to weep; I would weep! I could scarcely believe my eyes. There it was, the ground, fixed and real, though still not as solid as my feet would have sworn. I stomped my foot against the soil beneath it. Yes! Real!

An image of one of those ancient explorers flitted through my conscious. Columbus’ party discovering the Americas, it might have been, kneeling down to embrace the earth, thankful for deliverance from what must have seemed an eternity at sea. I recognized the need to welcome my return to solid earth. I keenly felt the desire to fall to the ground and give thanks for my own deliverance from what I can only describe as the hell from which I had just emerged. I did not kneel, as those others had, though my knees did wobble and threaten to spill me to the ground. I did not tumble to the earth. Matters more pressing interrupted.

The horrendous visions, which had battered my senses through the long and arduous passage through time, did not fade, but rather gathered strength and clarity as my party and I seemed also to be gathering form and mass. Our small group, it seemed, had chosen to appear in close proximity to a pitched and heated battle, quite nearly in its midst. Our entrance upon this scene had not gone unnoticed, to say the least. I had the odd and rather unnerving sensation of viewing another of those painted scenes half remembered from excursions to one museum or another. The picture before me was one of a bloody battle frozen in my mind for all time by the hand of a talented yet perverted artist. Raised axes hung poised and ready to strike through flesh and bone, frozen in the blinding light, which heralded our arrival.

Marring the illusion of the tableau vivant, a long broadsword swung, as though in slow motion, through the air; its extreme length and weight carrying through the action, which, once started, was difficult to stop. He who wielded that forgotten weapon stared in awe at the apparition taking shape before him. The boy the broadsword slammed into, for surely he was no more than a boy, stood staring at the specter that was our arrival, his own weapon hanging limp and forgotten at his side, as the blade clove his body. All this passed before my eyes, as if preserved on video and played in slow motion. My own body revolted at the sight, sought to reject what was laid out before me. How could I watch such things and not die myself from the horror of it? All participants in the battle our arrival had interrupted seemed to turn as one to witness the completion of our journey, the final solidifying of our forms and mass.

The company of men, motionless on their chosen field of battle, was not a large one, numbering not more than forty or fifty. Their faces, each and every one, seemed to be right there, directly before my eyes. Even now, as I set down these notes, I could easily give descriptions of each man and boy. Their images are burned into my memory for all eternity, their faces frozen in expressions of horror, awe and terror, eyes widened, mouths agape, blue painted faces staring in unbelieving astonishment. Their appearance was equally shocking to me; hair artificially stiffened into unnatural spikes or wild, matted masses, their bare torsos bearing strange symbols painted on chests and arms.

I do not know what made my attention focus on one man. Perhaps it was because he did not gape at us in terror or awe. Perhaps it was because he stepped forward, toward me, even as his fellows fell back from us. In his face I saw speculation, intelligence, and caution, even arrogance, but not fear or terror. Perhaps it was his bearing; without question I knew he led these men, at least a portion of them. His appearance was that of any other man on the field, except perhaps he stood slightly taller than those around him, though certainly not unusually so. His face and body were painted as the others. His hair a mass of tangled, braided rusty red, differing from those around him only in color and length.

Whatever the reason, it was he that snapped me out of my own paralyzed state, that man who stared back into my own eyes across thirty feet of time and space, quite suddenly raised his sword and motioned me toward him. What possessed me to go to him, I can only guess to have been an instinct to survive I did not know I had. His motion urged me to run and I did, without so much as a backward glance. I raised the heavy skirts of my gown and cloak, and ran. He in turn, began to run toward me, sword raised and I thought, ‘My God! He’s going to kill me’, and yet, I did not believe it and ran on. As he came toward me, he pointed with his sword towards the trees behind him, at the boundary of the field of battle.

He passed me, sword passing within inches, raised the small hairs on my arm. I both heard and felt (it seemed) the thud as his sword struck home, burying itself into human flesh. Not mine. Without so much as a pause, I headed in the direction he had indicated. I watched over my shoulder as he pulled his sword from the body of the man he had felled, grunting with the effort, using one booted foot to give himself leverage, arching the blade quickly upward, slicing across the abdomen of another. I watched this as I ran, felt my gorge begin to rise and quickly turned away. I was headed for a forest that seemed to ring the small meadow. I soon reached what I hoped would be some degree of safety, then from behind a large hawthorn tree, tried in vain to see what was the fate of my friends.

My eyes raked the scene before me as I searched and searched for some sign of the others, but it was in vain. I could see nothing of my companions.

The field had again become a mass of bleeding, screaming, writhing humanity, bent upon its own destruction. Why, in God’s name, had we chosen to come to this forsaken place and time?